Category Archives: Travel Humor

Bits and pieces about travel that atre actually funny…

No pickles on Sundays in NJ: Strange laws around the world

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All laws are made for a reason, or at least you would think they are… But it is hard to find reasoning behind some of those:

* In Hawaii you can get fined for NOT owning a boat.

* In Oklahoma, US, dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.

* In Pennsylvania, US there is a special cleaning ordinance that bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.

* It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel in Texas.

* On Sundays – don’t hang your clothes to dry or wash your car in Switzerland. Nor walk down Broad Street without wearing a petticoat – if you are a woman and happen to be in Elizabeth, New Jersey. Nor eat pickles in Trenton, New Jersey. Nor play Dominoes in Alabama.

*  At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches in Massachusetts and it is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing in Texas.

* If you notice an ice-cream man attempting to sell his cold concoctions in a cemetery in Destin, Florida, US, call the police immediately, for that is illegal.

Reading those, you might think that is good that you don’t live in one of those places… Well, there are some strange laws that might get you busted while travelling… At least in principle :)

* You must pay a fine of $600 in Thailand if you’re caught throwing away chewed bubble gum on the sidewalk.

* It is illegal to flush the toilet after 10 P in Switzerland – but you will be fined if you don’t flush the public toilet in Singapore!

* If you are a woman in California, US, don’t drive your car in a housecoat. And don’t drive drive barefoot in Alabama.

* In Singapore it is considered an offense to enter the country with cigarettes – or walk around naked in your own house or a hotel room.

* In Australia and in Switzerland you may never leave your car keys in an unattended vehicle. In Denmark, before starting your car, you are required to check lights, brakes, steering and honk your horn. In Germany always make sure you have enough fuel in the car, as it is illegal for ones car to run out of gas on the Autobahn.

* Individuals may not possess beer in containers larger than two liters unless they are a retailer in Utah, US – so, sorry, no keggers over there!

* In Canada citizens may not publicly remove bandages – I guess it is all right if you are a tourist…

* In Israel picking one’s nose on the Sabbath is illegal, make sure you have a lisence if you want to ride a bike – and don’t bring any bears to the beach!

* In South Africa, young people wearing bathing suits are prohibited from sitting less than 12 inches apart.

Here is a funny article about other strange laws that you could get busted on while travelling the world!

At least now you know that it is probably just safer NOT to eat pickles if you don’t have a calender at hand… But did you know that for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce? So says the law in Connecticut, but it provides little help with the friendly arresting officers from New Jersey PD.

Air Canada: One smile voucher, please!

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My daughter found a very funny “Mad TV” clip about Air Canada on Youtube. This is no reality television – but it shows the sad trend that most airlines are going along with…

No, on an Air Canada flight you don’t have to pay extra for seatbelts or oxygen… But there are some services that used to be free – but now have a price tag. This info refers only to Air Canada’s North American flights and everything depends on the fare type you choose…

Air Canada North American service has 4 types of fares:
Tango – $ no frills & barebones approach
Tango Plus – $$ your “basic” economy class experience
Latitude – $$$ more flexible (but quite a bit more expensive) fare created with business people in mind
Executive Class – $$$$ the privilege of 5-7” more legroom, a free onboard meal, access to Maple Leaf lounge and 3 checked-in bags

If you don’t like to pay top dollar for your tickets – here is the list of traditionally complementary airline services you might have to pay for:
1. Meals: Your basic free airline meals have become history! Air Canada has introduced the “Onboard Café” concept where you can buy snacks or packaged meals, depending on the duration of your flight. The passengers on more expensive fare categories (e.g. Latitude passengers get a complementary snack or a meal – max. $8 Cad value). Note that special meals (vegetarian, kosher, gluten-free etc) are not available on the “Onboard Café flights”. Air Canada still has free meal service on the international flights.
2. Advance seating: On the lowest (Tango) fares you will have to pay $15-$22 CAD (depending on the length of the flight) if you want your seat selected in advance. Advance seating is still free for international flights.
3. Assistance in case of flight delays and disruptions: Say hi to the Air Canada “On My Way” program! For $25 CAD, one way, on short-haul flights and $35 CAD, one way, on long-haul, you can “purchase the assistance” for rebooking on any North American airline, complimentary meal allowance, hotel accommodation or ground transportation for ANY extended delay and specialized call centre assistance tailored to your needs… Meaning that now you have to pay extra for “quality” help if Air Canada fails to provide you the services they have promised you when selling you their ticket in the first place!

Here is a table that nicely gives you the choices you have with Air Canada!

An interesting thing to note is that if you go for the cheapest Tango fare, Air Canada also offers you to SAVE $3 if you do not check bags, $3 if you do not want Aeroplan Miles and $5 if you wave the option of making changes to your ticket. So for $11 they can make you the least troublesome passenger of all: no potential hassles with your lost bags, changes to your ticket or giving you any rewards for being a loyal customer… 

The only GOOD news seems to be that a few months ago Air Canada pulled back their “$25 CAD for the second checked bag policy” and now you can again check in 2 bags of max. 23 kg!

Air Canada, like any airline, has always been under pressure to keep their costs under control. For me personally (and for all of my travel agent colleagues) the least popular decision of all times was to stop paying commissions to travel agents quite a few years ago… Which forced travel agents start charging service fees for booking airline tickets… But that is another can of worms :)

In the declining economy everyone understands the concept of cutting costs – everyone does what they can get away with. But the other edge of this sword is staying in the competition.

I sincerely hope Air Canada does not give up another traditionally free airline amenity: the SMILES on the faces of check-in personnel and flight attendants! I wonder, what would be the cost of that as an “extra” service…?
Can you book smile vouchers with your ticket? Will each voucher be limited to one smile? And will it be complementary for the Executive Class and Latitude passengers?
Or can I save $3 if I promise not to complain???

If airlines sold paint…

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I am sure that anyone who travels has at one point encountered some outrageously silly airline pricing rules. For example, if a return ticket costs $800, then how a one-way can possibly cost  $3.000? How can a ticket to city A can be more expensive than a ticket to city B, if the flight to city B actually goes through city A? How come my ticket cost $1000 but the person sitting next to me paid only $700 for it? How can I be penalized for not using the return portion of my ticket, as I have already paid for it anyway?

A lot of airline policies have nothing to do with logic or common sense. Here is a brilliant writeup that has been circling the Internet for a few years, telling the story about how much fun it would be to buy paint from an airline…

 

** Buying paint from a hardware store **

Customer: Hi, how much is your interior flat latex paint in Bone White?

Clerk: We have a medium quality, which is $16 a gallon, and premium,
which is $22 a gallon. How many gallons would you like?

Customer: I’ll take five gallons of the medium quality, please.

Clerk: That will be $80 plus tax.

 ==============================================

** Buying paint from an airline **
Customer: Hi, how much is your paint?

Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends.

Customer: Depends on what?

Clerk: Actually a lot of things.

Customer: How about giving me an average price?

Clerk: Wow, that’s too hard a question. The lowest price is $9 a gallon, and we have 150 different prices up to $200 a gallon.

Customer: What’s the difference in the paint?

Clerk: Oh, there isn’t any difference; it’s all the same paint.

Customer: Well, then, I’d like some of that $9 paint.

Clerk: Well, first I need to ask you a few questions. When do you intend to use it?

Customer: I want to paint tomorrow, on my day off.

Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint.

Customer: What? When would I have to paint in order to get the $9 version?

Clerk: That would be in three weeks, but you will also have to agree to start painting before Friday of that week and continue painting until at least Sunday.

Customer: You’ve got to be kidding!

Clerk: Sir, we don’t kid around here. Of course, I’ll have to check to see if we have any of that paint available before I can sell it to you.

Customer: What do you mean check to see if you can sell it to me? You have shelves full of that stuff; I can see it right there.

Clerk: Just because you can see it doesn’t mean that we have it. It may be the same paint, but we sell only a certain number of gallons on any given week. Oh, and by the way, the price just went to $12.

Customer: You mean the price went up while we were talking?

Clerk: Yes, sir. You see, we change prices and rules thousands of times a day, and since you haven’t actually walked out of the store with your paint yet, we just decided to change. Unless you want the same thing to happen again, I would suggest that you get on with your purchase. How many gallons do you want?

Customer: I don’t know exactly. Maybe five gallons. Maybe I should buy six gallons just to make sure I have enough.

Clerk: Oh, no, sir, you can’t do that. If you buy the paint and then don’t use it, you will be liable for penalties and possible confiscation of the paint you already have.

Customer: What?

Clerk: That’s right. We can sell you enough paint to do your kitchen, bathroom, hall, and north bedroom, but if you stop painting before you do the bedroom, you will violation of our tariffs.

Customer: But what does it mater to your whether I use all the paint? I already paid for it!

Clerk: Sir, there’s no point in getting upset; that’s just the way it is. We make plans upon the idea that you will use all the paint, and when you don’t, it just causes us all kinds of problems.

Customer: This is crazy! I suppose something terrible will happen if I don’t keep painting until after Saturday night!

Clerk: Yes, sir, it will.

Customer: Well, that does it! I’m going somewhere else to buy my paint.

Clerk: That won’t do you any good, sir. We all have the same rules.

 

Source: unknown but thank you for whoever came up with this!

25 Strangest ever travel insurance claims

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Travel insurance is a must wherever you go – it can save you a bundle as while out and about trotting the globe, you might get into some very unexpected situations. As you would imagine – strange situations might result in strange insurance claims, sometimes more bizarre than you could ever imagine! From wardrobe-raiding monkeys and camera-stealing dogs to a haircut gone bad, 84 kg of lost Bombay mix* and a “guitar made out of a pumpkin”…

My practice has seen only claims that have really helped out people in need – but there are all sorts of travellers in the world… As, according to one long-serving insurance underwriter, there have been more Rolex Oyster watches, worth upwards of £1,000, recorded as lost in the Costa Del Sol in the Spain than have ever been manufactured.

Here you can read about the 25 most bizarre travel insurance claims compiled from the files of just a couple of insurance companies in the UK. But don’t laugh too hard… You never know what’s ahead behind the next turn! :)

* Bombay mix is the name used in the UK for a traditional Indian snack known as chiwda or chevda (चिवडा) in India, or chanachur (চানাচুর) in east India and Bengal. The English name originates from the city of Bombay, now called Mumbai. It consists of a variable mixture of spicy dried ingredients, which may include fried lentils, peanuts, chickpea flour noodles, corn, vegetable oil, chickpeas, flaked rice, and fried onion. This is all flavoured with salt and a blend of spices that may include coriander and mustard seed.